


Sept/Oct Tumblr Drabbles

by Nutriyum_Addict



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Backrubs, Breakfast, Bubble Bath, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Drunkenness, Elections, F/M, Kissing, Long-Distance Relationship, Menstruation, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Roleplay, Sneaking, Sneaking Out, Surprises, Tattoos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-13 05:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7964200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutriyum_Addict/pseuds/Nutriyum_Addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For the prompt: If Leslie and Ben had actually gotten those drunk tattoos</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. We're gonna love each other forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt: If Leslie and Ben had actually gotten those drunk tattoos

She’s the first to wake up, because of course she is.

Leslie stumbles out of bed, surprised and a bit impressed with herself that she managed to get that long, flowing dress off last night (Ben probably helped) and throw on a tee and some pajama pants to sleep in.

But, ugh, her head feels like wet concrete and she’s halfway downstairs to try and make some coffee when she first notices it–a soreness in her upper arm that she assumes is a light bruise. Maybe she bumped into something last night while she was drunk and in her Princess Buttercup costume.

Maybe Ben accidentally gripped her too hard while he was kissing her in the pawn shop last night.

Abruptly, she stops what she’s doing, adding some coffee into the coffeemaker basket.

The pawn shop.

They went to the pawn shop last night to get… _tattoos_?

Leslie’s eyes widen and she pulls her t-shirt sleeve up to look at what she thought was maybe a bruise and…it says BEN. On her arm in blue ink. It’s right there–permanent and forever.

Well, from this angle it kind of looks like NEB but no, her upper arm says Ben.

And then her eyes widen even more as she practically runs back upstairs.

* * * *

He’s still asleep on his stomach when she carefully pulls the covers back and sneakily tries to get his boxers pulled down so she can peek.

“Babe. Babe, hold on, I need a few more minutes, then I’ll rescue you from the castle again.” It’s sort of mumbled into the pillow but that’s what she thinks he says.

Honestly, she’s not really paying attention to Ben’s half-asleep conversation because she’s staring at her name, tattooed on her husband’s wonderful and perfect flat ass.

LESLIE

Her hand goes up to her mouth. Holy crap. They got drunken tattoos last night at the pawn shop. She pulls the covers back up over him and rushes to the bathroom to check her own butt in the mirror just in case.

Nope. Nothing.

Although, it does look like Ben gave her a hickey there last night, which makes her smile.

While standing there, Leslie looks at her arm again in the mirror. It’s kind of nice, actually. Smaller and more tasteful that you’d think and also, Herman Lerpiss has _surprisingly_ good penmanship. It kind of burns when the t-shirt touches it though, so she just leaves the material rolled up.

Leslie tiptoes back to the bedroom, trying to remember last night as she goes.

They got drunk, they talked about getting married and how much they loved each other, how they had both peaked already and then…they got tattoos.

She remembers a large needle and Ben kissing her while she was having it done and then Leslie remembers talking Ben into getting her name on his butt. And Herman shrugging and telling him to _drop his pants and turn around_.

Leslie had kissed Ben while he got his tattoo and by the time they left, she’d even gotten Herman to admit that they were the cutest couple that he’d ever seen.

Her feeling of vindication at proving her point is short-lived, because she realizes Ben is awake now and starting at her from the bed. And he looks a little concerned.

“Did we…um, hey. Did we get tattoos last night?”

Leslie nods. She turns to the side and shows him her arm.

Ben groans. “Mine is not on my arm, is it?”

She shakes her head slowly and watches as he gets up on his knees and then kind of winces when he touches the right side of his butt and tries to look at it. Ben finally gives up and pulls his boxers back up.

“It’s cute,” she says, moving closer.

“Yeah, I noticed that you must have taken a look already.”

“I wanted to make sure and yep, there’s my name. Right there. On your butt.”

Ben makes a face. “Does it at least look like it’s not infected?”

“Oh, yes. I think it looks okay. I mean, we can call Ann to make sure, but they’re not infected.”

“And that’s your professional, medical opinion?” Ben asks, and then he softens his face. “Sorry. Sorry, I’m just really hung-over and apparently, I have a new tattoo on my ass. It’s a weird morning.”

She smiles back and moves closer. “Well, I do remember him sterilizing the needles and they actually don’t look too bad, so…”

Ben holds out his hand and she takes it, letting him pull her the rest of the way to the bed.

“How are you doing?”

“My arm is a little sore. It feels–”

“No. No. I’m not talking about your arm. How are you doing? You know, about the recall?” Ben doesn’t wait for her to answer. “You didn’t peak. I want to be clear on that. I mean winning a city council election. That’s not all that you’re gonna do and–”

“I know. I’m going to keep climbing up the hill. I’ll just stop for a tattoo along the way.”

“After a ridiculous number of tequila shots.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, sitting down on the bed next to him. “That was maybe not the best idea.”

Ben closes his eyes and sighs, his hand rubbing his forehead. “I completely broke the first rule of the _Leslie Knope Emotional Support Task Force_.”

“What was it? _Don’t be adorable in the morning_?”

Ben laughs. “Um, no. It was don’t let you get a tattoo and now Ann is probably going to yell at me when she finds out about…” he gestures towards her arm.

“Awwww, you two did a thing together? You formed a task force for me?”

He nods. “Yeah. I was supposed to give you back rubs and find cute animal videos and, most importantly, not let you get a tattoo. But…then all the alcohol…and I was bummed about Icetown and thinking I had peaked and also, you’re just so fucking cute when you’re coming up with destructive ideas.”

“I really am,” she agrees, smiling. “And you’re super cute when you’re getting my name tattooed on your ass.”

“Sure,” Ben nods, tugging her closer to examine her arm up close. “But we’re going to love each other forever, regardless of whether our names are tattooed on each other or not. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that.”

“Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go throw up in the shower.”


	2. Sperm Meet Eggs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie and Ben, trying to make a baby (not the old fashioned way) and cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I was done with [this AU (Make My Day)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7987849), but I guess not.

“How do you feel?”

Ben is looking at her with concern, kind of how he has been since they left the small exam room at the clinic and drove home, and as soon as she lies down, he’s pulling the comforter up around her and sitting on the edge of their bed.

“I’m okay.”

“Any cramping?”

“A little.“ Actually, it’s been a constant low throb for the last fifteen minutes but she doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it.

His hand strokes the side of her face and it feels so comforting that Leslie closes her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

She looks at him. “Why?”

“All I had to do was masturbate and you’ve had to take drugs and not feel well and today you got a big needle in a place where you probably didn’t want a big needle. It’s not really fair.”

She chuckles a little remembering how Ben had declined the magazine the nurse tried to offer him at the clinic yesterday afternoon and instead had taken Leslie’s hand, as they giggled their way down the hall to Room Number Four so they could collect his sample together.

“No. Not really. You’re right, that does not seem fair at all.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I have the penis.”

That makes her cackle even more. "I’m not. You’re a very responsible penis-owner. But still, whatever they gave me today…during it…I couldn’t really feel it at the time.”

“That’s good,” he says, and Leslie watches as Ben cringes sympathetically a bit before continuing. “But now, I’m going take care of you the rest of the day. No working, no stress, nothing to worry about. You’re going to relax and nap and stay in bed and do whatever you want and if there’s anything you need–-hot water bottle, aspirin, snacks, a hot glue gun and glitter, I’m going to get it for you.”

“You’re very sweet. How about for now, you come lie down with me?”

“Alright. I can do that,” he grins and walks around the bed so he can get under the covers next to her. Like Leslie, he’s still wearing all his clothes and it kind of strikes her as funny, the both of them normally such workaholics, back in bed at eleven o'clock in the morning in their shirts and pants.

Of course she’s just in her comfortable Garfield tee and some stretchy pants that she wore to the clinic for the procedure this morning, but still. Ben takes her hand under the the comforter.

“This might not work,” she tells him.

“No,” he smiles lightly, before leaning close and kissing her forehead. “But if it doesn’t, it’s still going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“I know. But what if your sperm doesn’t like my eggs?”

Ben snorts next to her. “Well, that’s not possible.”

“What if–”

“Leslie. My sperm is going to be way into your eggs, which I’m sure are the cutest, sexiest eggs in the history of the world. So don’t even worry about that.”

“They’re old.”

His forehead crinkles. “My sperm?”

“No. My eggs. Well, your sperm too. They’re all old, Ben. What if–”

“Yeah, but we’re having them put in a twenty-six year-old, so it’ll be fine.”

They both laugh and he snuggles a bit closer, wrapping an arm around her. “I should really take my pants and tie off. I just mean, to be comfy.”

Leslie grins sleepily even as her eyelids start to close on their own. She didn’t think she was that tired, but now that she’s in bed, well, it does feel nice. Especially when Ben kisses her cheek.

“Just take a nap, babe. I’ll be right here.”


	3. Things You Said When You Were Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Stephen.

“Daddy?”

Ben lifted his head up from the pillow. There was just enough light in the hallway to see Stephen standing at the bedroom door in his flannel, firetruck pajamas.

“Yeah?” He whispered and motioned for the little boy to come closer. “What’s up, buddy?”

“I can’t sleep,” his son whispered back.

Ben glanced over at Leslie in the bed next to him - she was snoring. And he knew when his wife was snoring, that she was not waking up for anything. He sat up and swung his legs over the bed in the guest room of the somewhat-familiar Minnesota home. Then he checked his phone - two AM.

“Why can’t you sleep?” He asked, reaching out to smooth some of Stephen’s brown hair down. It was hard to believe the kids were five already, they’d actually be starting kindergarten next year.

Stephen shrugged and looked almost like he was going to start crying.

They were visiting Ben’s relatives in Minnesota for Thanksgiving and this was the first night of the trip. Honestly, Ben had thought that if one of the triplets was going to have a problem at his dad’s family’s old house in Brainerd, it would be sensitive and shy Wes, but apparently, it’s his normally happy, little goofball of a son.

“I don’t like it here.”

Ben smiled softly, got up, and took Stephen’s hand to pull him closer.

After some hugs and some more whispering, they eventually ended up downstairs in the immense and drafty living room of the old Victorian. Honestly, the house still gave Ben the creeps a bit, so he wasn’t too surprised that one of his children was a little scared.

He sat down on the couch and took his son with him, and the little boy ended up lying on top of him, on his back. Ben pulled the old afghan (he’s pretty sure he remembers it from when he would visit as a child) down from the back of the sofa and covered them up - it was chilly in Minnesota in November.

“When I was your age,” he began, “we used to come here sometimes and I would be scared too.”

“You were? Really?” It was still hard for the kids to believe that Ben and Leslie were ever their age - despite photos and videos.

“Yeah. I thought it was loud and noisy and I also thought this house was haunted.”

“It’s haunted?” Stephen practically screamed out, sitting up quickly. “There are g-g-ghosts?”

Ben groaned.

“No. No, Stephen, it’s not haunted,” he said quickly, even though he was still pretty sure the house might be haunted. “Shhhhhhh…it’s fine. It’s all fine. It is fine.”

He tugged Stephen back down and finally got them both snuggled up again under the afghan. As he did, he had a brief memory of his own father yelling at him when he couldn’t sleep here. Yelling at him and then sending him back to a dark and strange bedroom where both Henry and Steph were already sound asleep. And then Ben would lie awake listening to every single creak and small noise.

Ben kissed the back of Stephen’s head and wrapped his arms tighter around his son.

“Its actually pretty cool here.”

“Noooooo!”

Ben laughed. “Wait, listen. Your great Aunt June and Uncle Frank are really nice and they love you very much. And the house is kind of big but–”

“And dark! And noisy!” His son interjected.

“Well, yes, but it’s also really interesting. They’ve lived here a long time and have a lot of collections. It’s pretty cool. And also, we’re leaving in two days,” Ben added, hoping that reminder would calm his son down. “And there’ll be pie tomorrow.”

“There’s pie, daddy? Really?”

He grinned. “Yes. Tomorrow after Thanksgiving dinner, there will be lots of pie. The Wyatt’s are excellent pie makers,” he added, but decided against discussing his homemade pumpkin calzone at the present moment - his and Leslie’s contribution to the holiday dinner.

Ben rubbed his son’s chest through the flannel pajama top.

“Do you think you could try to sleep now? To get to the pie quicker?” he asked sleepily and hopefully.

Stephen nodded even as he yawned. “But don’t wanna go back upstairs. It’s scary.”

“Alright. Let’s both sleep down here, then. And there’s nothing to be scared of, I promise.”

“Okay,” he agreed, turning over to cuddle into Ben more. “I love pie.”

“I know, honey. And I love you.”


	4. Things You Said After You Kissed Me

“Oops,” Ben said, eyes widening as he stepped back, all plaid shirt, skinny blue tie, and apologetic expression.

Leslie frowned as she craned her neck to look out at the (thankfully) empty parks department offices.

“Ben–”

“I know, I know. Sorry,” he replied, even as he started to smile at her, his eyes crinkling up just a bit. “Force of habit.”

She’s not mad. Of course not.

He was kissing her in her office because he just wanted to kiss her. Because he liked her. Because it’s not just him. And how can she be mad at that? She has a secret boyfriend and he can’t stop himself from planting his lips on hers.

If they couldn’t possibly get fired over it, it would be completely awesome.

“Tonight,” Leslie said with a nod and then she moved closer again to whisper, “Tonight at my house you can kiss me all you want. Wherever you want.”

Did he get that? She meant Ben could kiss her anywhere on her naked body that he wanted to put his lips. Maybe she should specify–

“Well…that sounds fun,” Ben answered with a smirky grin and a slightly raised eyebrow. He even not-so-subtly glanced down her body in a way that made her insides feel all shuddery and warm.

Alright. He probably got it.

She grinned back and they’re still just so close that it would be almost nothing for her to mess up this time and reach up to brush her lips against his. Just a soft press and if she pushed closer, maybe their bellies would touch and he’d just feel so solid and wonderful that she’d want to open her mouth and kiss him even more deeply.

She could run her fingers through his hair and nibble his bottom lip like he seemed to like so much.

Maybe they’d even walk backwards towards her desk and…

Leslie was reluctantly thankful when Ben came to his senses and moved back a little. But then he held his hand out, down low and wiggled a finger at her. It wasn’t their secret handshake from the Harvest Fest, but a newer, more intimate one.

A secret handshake perfected just the other night in her bed.

Leslie hooked her pinkie finger around Ben’s and they swayed their joined hands back and forth, each smiling.

Tonight.


	5. Things You Said at 1 AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie visits Ben in DC unexpectedly.

“Hi!”

Ben jumps back from the open door and then blinks rapidly, before groggily staring at his very wide-awake girlfriend. He’s happy to see Leslie of course, but he’s also super confused as to why she’s outside his DC apartment at one in the morning, standing in the well-lit and deserted hallway.

“Um, hi.”

That’s about all he has time to get out before she charges through the open door and right into his arms. The air outside must be chilly now, because her checked cotton shirt is cool to the touch and Ben automatically starts rubbing his palms up and down her arms to try and warm her up.

“Surprise! I mean, I know you don’t like surprises, but hopefully this is a good one? Ha! Bet you had no idea this would happen when you gave me the security door code!”

If he wasn’t still half-asleep, he’d probably be much more enthusiastic, but he manages a, “this is definitely a good surprise. But, how–”

Leslie starts kissing him and really, he decides that he doesn’t so much need to know all the exact details right this very second, as he kicks the front door shut with his right foot. She’s here and his hands are wandering down to cup her ass and give her a squeeze and, well, she’s also currently got her tongue in his mouth. He decides it’s all good.

Questions put on hold.

Although…he has an eight AM meeting in the morning that he still has to finish running some polling numbers for first thing when his alarm goes off at six. And fuck, why did that responsibility have to pop into his head right now? He was so satisfied to just grope and cuddle his girlfriend out in the living room.

Ben groans. “Babe. Babe. Hey. Hi. Hi there.”

“Hi there,” she smiles back against his lips and then squeezes his butt.

“I love that you’re here. I really do. But–”

“You have your sleepy pants on,” Leslie says, moving back to check out his plaid pajama pants.

“I do.” Ben smiles at the familiar observation and how she now interprets it to mean that he’s generally done discussing work or elaborate plans to have JJ’s Diner declared a National Historic Site.

“You probably want to go back to sleep,” she guesses, plopping her small, polka dot covered travel bag down on his faux-leather sofa.

It makes a much bigger than expected thud. Ben frowns but then turns his attention back to Leslie.

“Well, soon. Maybe you could put your sleepy pants on too and tell me how you got here. I just talked to you on the phone, um, four hours ago?”

Ben doesn’t wait for an an answer but takes her hand and starts leading her to his bedroom and his big, king-size bed.

“I was being sneaky!” She declares, before dissolving into giggles behind him. “I called you from the car on the hands-free thing. You had no idea!”

He does the math in his head and realizes she must have been driving since at least three in the afternoon. He shudders at the thought of how many NutriYum Bars Leslie ate along the way.

“I had no idea,” Ben agrees, smiling and relieved that her drive went okay and that she managed to park her car somewhere safe and walk to his apartment at this late hour.

Easily, his mind spirals to how there are probably murderers and rapists and who knows what roaming his even somewhat-okay DC neighborhood after dark.

Alright. He’s not going to think about that. He’s just going to be thankful and kiss her neck while he unzips her jeans. Except…this is going to bug him if he doesn’t get a few more details.

“Just please tell me you have pepper spray on you or something like that?”

She nods as she starts unbuttoning her shirt. “Yep. Pepper spray and also Ron gave me an old land mine for extra protection. I don’t think it still works, but it’s super heavy. I could clock someone with that puppy and they’d be out cold before they could even grab at my purse,” she pauses before continuing.

“Actually, I think he mainly gave it to me because he wanted me to stop talking about how much I missed your butt while I was standing in his office this afternoon.”

“Alright,” Ben agrees and smiles, even as he continues to push down the terrifying thoughts that getting mugged could be the best case scenario this time of night.

Instead, as soon as she shrugs her shirt off, Ben kisses her again, making himself focus on this and just enjoy the feel of her now-warm body pressed against his. Since he and April didn’t make it out on their roadtrip Friday, it’s been four and a half weeks since he’s seen Leslie–-way too long.

Reluctantly, he steps back but gets to watch her tug her pants down and off and then she’s in front of him in just her underwear. Her bra is pink and her panties are light blue with colorful butterflies fluttering across all the good parts. He grins at her and soon they’re kiss-walking the rest of the way to his his rumpled bed.

“Oh wait, my pajama pants are out in my bag.”

“Sleep in your underwear…or not. Also, I like the butterflies,” he says, squeezing her ass again. His fingers inch up under the soft cotton so he can feel her skin. It makes her laugh and good lord, has he missed that.

“Thanks, babe.”

When they get into bed, Leslie unclasps her bra and flings it over on the chair. She wastes no time snuggling into him, her breasts pushed against his chest and her leg sliding up over his hip, so that everything is all pressed together. 

“Okay. How about this–-let me nap for an hour or two and then I’ll give you a sexy, _proper_ _hello_.”

“With your penis? That works,” she answers and then brushes her lips across his neck. “Or we can just sleep tonight. I missed sleeping next to you. That’s why I’m here.”

It all feels so perfect and comfy that even his dick is chilling out a bit and getting tired again. Ben is just about drifting off when his eyes snap open and he sits up, taking Leslie with him.

“Wait a minute. Is there a land mine in my living room right now?”


	6. Omelette World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leslie and Stephen in the kitchen and Stephen is horrible at lying.

**Pawnee, 2022**

“You’re up early,” she said, walking past Stephen, on her way to the coffee. He was sitting at the kitchen table, still in his pajamas and playing quietly with some action figures.

Of course Ben already made coffee. She was definitely married to the best man in the whole world. He had a sexy butt and he was a super hot congressman and he always made coffee if he happened to get up before her.

There was even a note by her favorite owl mug set out on the counter: _Hey babe. Went on an errand with Sonia. Probably back by 10. I love you. Ben._

Leslie smiled as she filled the mug and then leaned down to kiss the top of her son’s head. Maybe she’d do some crafting while the house was so quiet.

“Mom!”

Leslie turned back towards her almost-eight year old and frowned.

He was acting a little strange. Why _was_ he up so early and being quiet? And why wasn’t he painting on the walls or tying to take the refrigerator apart?

“Yes?”

“Um, nothing. Hi. Good morning. Can I get a dog?”

Leslie stared at him. “We already have a dog.”

“Oh, right,” Stephen fake-laughed. “Mr. Puddles. Of course. Okay, well, I’m going to go do some homework now. In my room. And I’ll stop by Sonia’s room on the way and say good morning. Because she’s there. In her room. Where else would she be?”

He started to get up but she blocked him. She loved all her children and thought they were the most amazing, wonderful kids ever born, but none of them were very sneaky. And they were all pretty bad at lying.

Something was definitely going on.

“Hold up. Sonia’s running an errand with dad, right?”

“Oh, is that Mr. Puddles barking? I should go–”

“Stephen. What’s going on? Spill it.”

He sighed. “Um….”

“Where’s Wes?”

“Still sleeping,” Stephen answered normally.

Leslie narrowed her eyes. “Where’s Sonia?”

“Space camp,” Stephen replied and then made a face like even he couldn’t believe he came up with such an obvious lie.

“Ben!” Leslie called out. “Are you here?”

There was no answer and Stephen looked increasingly uncomfortable.

“Where’s your father?”

“Narnia,” Stephen said and then closed his eyes with a sigh. “I mean, um, he’s–”

“Where’s your sister, Stephen?” Leslie asked again, moving down so she was closer to the boy.

Whatever was going on, at least Ben and Sonia were together, she thought. But still, why would her husband and her daughter sneak away to run errands at eight AM on a Saturday?

She gasped as the obvious answer came to her.

“Are they at Omelette World? And why didn’t he take you too?”

“Dad asked if I wanted to go but I said no,” Stephen answered and then covered his mouth with his hand. “Um, wait, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Mr Puddles! I’m coming!”

“You do know what I’m taking about, sweetheart. Stop trying to cover for your dad and sister. They went to get omelettes from that over-priced egg con-artist instead of JJ’s,” she said with a scoff.

 _Omelette World_. Like how hard was it to come up with an egg pun for a restaurant name? _Just Yolking Around._ See? That was just off the top of her head–she wasn’t even trying.

But no, the stupidly named Omelette World was a new breakfast restaurant in Pawnee that had sprung up a few months ago. And now, it seemed that two members of the family were completely taken by this two-bit egg hustler.

As if JJ’s Diner didn’t have the best waffles and eggs and breakfast food in all of Indiana?

“They went out early like I wouldn’t even know. They just went out and committed breakfast treason, didn’t they?” She asked out loud. She wasn’t even directing the question at Stephen, but he responded solemnly anyway.

“I think dad just really likes the omelettes there. He says they’re like an egg calzone.”

Leslie groaned. Yeah, she’d heard that argument. Many times. Omelette World made perfect and savory pastry-like egg packages filled with mushrooms and cheese and sausage. To hear Ben tell it, even the spinach omelette was a culinary masterpiece on a plate.

And now, shockingly, both her husband and her daughter seemed to be big fans of the new restaurant. So much so that they apparently felt the need to sneak out together for an early morning breakfast on the one day that she slept in a little bit.

She studied her son and reached out to smooth down some of his hair. “Have you eaten yet, honey?”

Stephen shook his head, still looking a bit sleepy. “I was in bed when dad said they were leaving,” he admitted.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get your brother up and then were going to JJ’s to pick up some waffles for breakfast. You still like JJ’s right?”

She almost held her breath waiting for him to answer, but Stephen didn’t leave her hanging long. And he didn’t disappoint her either. His eyes lit up and he cheered.

“I love JJ’s! They have the best breakfast in the whole world! Omelette World is dumb!”

Leslie grinned. “You are one hundred percent right, Omelette World is super dumb. And after we get our waffles to go, we’re going to swing by _you-know-where_ on the way home and let your dad and Sonia know just how busted they are.”


	7. What Did He Just Say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A triplet repeats something from the news.

Ben frowned and looked at his son. Then he looked at her.

“Did he just say…”

“No,” Leslie insisted, shaking her head as her eyes grew wide. She stared at almost two year old Stephen giggling in the playpen. “No. No. He did not say that. He said… _puppy grabber_.”

“Pussy grabber!” Stephen shouted out and then laughed some more as he looked at his parents.

To say she was shocked was an understatement.

Of course her perfect, amazing, wonderful little toddler had no idea what he was saying, but it was just one more thing in a long list of election-related annoyances that made Leslie want to set things on fire lately.

She’d been looking forward to teaching her children about the presidential election process since she and Ben had first met them at her first sonogram. And here she was, having to shield them from it.

It made her furious.

“Oh god,” Ben said. “I was listening to some politics podcasts the other morning and that phrase was used a few times and Stephen was awake and he must have heard–”

“Ben!” Leslie screeched, leaning over to pick up her son protectively. Her hand went to one of his ears and then the other as she gently tried to muffle the world for his delicate, still-baby ears. “I can’t believe my son knows words like _you-know-what_ , along with mommy, daddy, grandma, apple, doggie, park, Obama, and waffles.”

“I didn’t…I mean, it’s like that time my cousin’s parakeet learned to say _fuck_ from me and Henry. Oh! Crap,” he said, moving forward to cover his son’s ears himself.

“Ben!”

“I know! I know! I’m sorry! We need to start being really careful with stuff like this.”

“ _We_?” Leslie arched an eyebrow at him.

Ben made a face. “Yeah, we. I seem to remember some choice words while you were watching the debate the other night.”

She sighed. He had her there. “Yeah. Fine. Okay. We need to start using poopy-head and diaper-face to describe certain people from now on,” she agreed, nodding at her son.

Stephen, who didn’t seem fazed by his parents concern at all, reached towards his father with his arms outstretched. “Pussy grabber!”

“Noooooooo,” Ben said gently with a shake of his head. “No. Daddy definitely doesn’t touch or grab anything without consent, honey. And neither will you or your brother or sister.”

Before they had time to say anything else, there was crying, as one of the triplets woke up from a nap upstairs. Leslie handed Stephen off to Ben.

“I’ll go, you take him,” she said, with a small kiss to her son’s head. “I’ll get the other two up and you can watch them all while I write letters to the Pawnee Journal, CNN, NPR, President Obama, Vice President Biden, Hillary Clinton, and….and….” She trailed off, not even sure who else to inform of this situation. “Madeleine Albright. The United Nations!”

Maybe even Bono, she thought, all fired up. Ben was always talking about how the singer was changing the world. Let him work on changing this.

“Alright,” her husband said calmly, cuddling Stephen in his arms. “Go, babe. Write the letters.”

“And no more politics podcasts around the babies until after November 8th and Hillary’s won,” she said, shaking her head.

“Agreed.”


	8. Things You Said Around the Kitchen Table

“Okay, who’s ready for dinner?” Ben asked, turning around with a big bowl of pasta in his hands.

He had thought about making calzones for everyone, but with Leslie at a Park Service evening event, some spaghetti with vegetables and chicken seemed like an easier meal, especially with three five-year-olds running around the kitchen while he was trying to make dinner.

Ben had actually gotten Stephen to help a little, but then Sonia had put Wesley’s glasses in the refrigerator and Wesley had thrown BoBo in the garbage in retaliation.

Well, Wes thought it was BoBo but without his glasses on, he grabbed Margo T. Cuddlepants instead. And now, the stuffed giraffe was apparently holding a grudge. Ben had diffused that situation just in time to rescue the big pot of spaghetti from boiling over on the stove-top.

Finally, though, the triplets were all washed up and seated at the kitchen table and looking at him quietly but skeptically.

“What kind of pasta?” Sonia asked, crinkling her nose just a bit.

“Daddy, let’s have peanut butter crackers instead,” Wes suggested. “And gummi worms.”

“Gummi worms!” Stephen yelled out, which lead to a chant of _gummi worms! gummi worms! gummi worms!_ from everyone.

“No,” Ben said patiently, giving each child some spaghetti with broccoli, chicken, and tomatoes. There was also cheese sauce–-he wasn’t a monster. “We’re having pasta.”

“Mommy would let us have gummi worms,” Sonia said, even as she took a bite. But then she shrugged, made a happy face, and kept eating as Ben leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

Sonia was usually easy. Stephen was the real critic.

“Well?” He asked, sitting down with his kids.

“Mommy uses more cheese,” Wes offered, eating some of the broccoli first.

Ben nodded. “She does. But I decided to use more broccoli instead.”

Wes smiled at him and nodded in agreement.

In addition to peanut butter crackers, one of his sons also loved vegetables, much to Leslie’s continued confusion. Although lately, she’d seemed to warm up to the idea, even affectionately calling Wesley _mommy’s little vegetable eater_.

Stephen stared at him and then took a bite of chicken. He chewed slowly and finally offered, “It’s not bad, daddy.”

Ben laughed at the reserved praise. “Thank you, honey.”

“But we can have cookies for dessert, right?” Stephen asked, sliding all of his broccoli onto his brother’s plate.

“If you eat all your broccoli,” Ben said and then pointed. “That broccoli there. The broccoli that was originally on your plate. The broccoli that I just watched you give to your brother.”

Stephen frowned. “But mommy gets to give her vegetables to Wes. Why can’t I?”

Ben made a face. “Mommy does what now?”


	9. Going Triplets Right off the Bat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: I wish you'd write a fic where Leslie has a freak out about having triplets

“Hey, babe? Get in here and take your clothes off!” Ben shouts, sitting up and stretching forward to turn the hot water off.

He waits a few minutes, easing back in the big tub again and really, the lavender bubbles are pretty relaxing (the label was definitely accurate, he decides), but this bubble bath for two has kind of turned into a bath for one.

Ben frowns.

“Leslie?”

She pokes her head in the bathroom a few seconds later.

“Hi.”

“Hi. I thought we were taking bath?”

“Yeah. Sorry. I just got sidetracked with a report.”

Ben snorts at her excuse and can’t help but tease her just a little. “You? Distracted by work? I can’t believe that.”

Leslie walks all the way in and smiles apologetically at him before putting a binder down on the bathroom counter. She definitely looks a little distracted. He chalks it up to her having her nose buried in work for the last hour.

“Yeah, I know. That’s so unlike me,” his wife finally replies.

“Right. So, work break. Come on and get naked and get in here with me.”

Ben watches as she makes a face. He can’t quite decipher what it means but it surprises him.

It also surprises him when she asks him to close his eyes.

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m _huge_ now. You are officially married to a whale.”

“I am?”

He’s absolutely trying to take her feelings and concerns seriously, but that is completely ridiculous. He’s married to a beautiful, passionate, five-and-a-half month pregnant woman. Not a whale. He tells her as much.

“You have to say that, but Ben,” she pauses undoing the buttons on her shirt as he just sits there and begins to feel kind of wet and helpless in response to her current complaints. “There are three human beings inside here. Growing bigger each day.”

“I know. I put them in there.” He can’t help the smirk that forms on his lips and she smiles at that despite still seeming a bit tentative on the whole _getting naked_ thing.

But finally, she parts with her pants.

“Ugh. You know what I mean. My boobs are huge. My stomach is huge. And my ankles are swollen _and_ huge. There’s also a good chance that I might fart soon and we’ll be in a tub of water, so you’ll definitely know about that. Because of the three babies inside me. Three babies that will eventually have to come out. Of me. From somewhere.”

The _somewhere_ is still a bit up in the air at this point. Dr. Saperstein has suggested that a c-section is a possible scenario.

“I know, honey. And I’m sorry that–”

“Three babies, Ben. Three. We’re having…THREE BABIES!” Leslie stops unbuttoning and now she’s just standing there in a pair of white panties and her mostly undone blouse. And then she’s staring at him expectantly. “Triplets. That’s t _riplés_ in French. _Drieling_ in Dutch. _Wej Ghu_ in Klingon!”

“Alright. I understand, but–”

“DO YOU? THREE BABIES ARE GETTING OUT OF ME FROM SOME OPENING, BEN. AN OLD ONE OR A NEW ONE. THREE SMALL HUMANS! What if they all try to come out of me at the same time? I’m pretty sure I can’t dilate that much, can I? What if–”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, just breathe,” he interrupts softly before she can keep going (and he knows she can keep this up). He holds his hand out and she takes it. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.”

“Is it?” Leslie asks. “I mean, I’m still so happy about the triple cherries, I am, but I just really started thinking about it, you know? Maybe you were right to be concerned.”

Over the last couple of months, it’s amazed him how excited she’s been about having triplets. He's been in awe (and also a little worried), with how she talks about making more babies and eventually filling the Supreme Court with all of their progeny but well, right now it’s actually making him feel a bit better that she’s freaking out a little too.

And, good lord, she looked up how to say triplets in Klingon for him? That’s…well, that’s kind of turning him on.

Ben shakes his head. “I’m not concerned. Not really. This is our family, and it’s perfect. And also, one baby is coming out at a time, I promise. This is going to be okay. It really is.”

He’s still got her hand in his and he gives it a light squeeze. And it dawns on him right then and there that he actually does know for certain that it’s going to be okay.

In fact, it’s going to be amazing.

“ _Sen yalli_ ,” Leslie says, sounding less alarmed, sitting down carefully on the tub’s ledge. “That’s Dothraki. For three babies. Well, three _childs_.”

“I know,” he responds, unable to keep from smiling now. “And it’s really hot that you just said that to me. And I agree, three is a lot of babies. But we can handle it.”

Of course, he’s still a bit concerned about money but Ben also knows that they can definitely make this work. And they’ll do all the child-proofing and get baby supplies in triplicate, and sure, he’s still a little confused about how Leslie is supposed to breastfeed three babies with two breasts but right now, for her, he’s… _Matthew McConaughey in a hammock on a beach_.

Alright. Alright.

Alright.

Ben takes the calm, deep breath of a laid-back and focused _sham-wow_ and soon, she’s nodding and breathing deeply right along with him as he rubs his thumb along hers.

“Okay. We can do this. You’re very smart and wonderful.”

“And you are both of those things and also really sexy,” he assures her.

Leslie rolls her eyes but smiles. “I don’t feel sexy right now.”

“I understand. And if you want me to close my eyes while you get naked and get your cute little butt in here with me, I will.”

He watches as she slowly releases another calming breath.

“It does look pretty relaxing in there.”

Ben grins. “It’s super relaxing and warm and it smells like a grandmother’s house. And also, there are lots of bubbles in here so honestly, I will have no idea if you fart.”

Leslie laughs, stands up, and shrugs her blouse off. She’s just got a bra and panties on and seriously, he doesn’t think he’s ever seen her look more beautiful.

But still, if she doesn’t want him to look, he won’t.

“Am I supposed to…um, can I watch now? Or should I shut my eyes?”

“You can watch,” she says, pulling her underwear down and stepping out of them carefully. “This is really doing it for you?”

The silly words are out of his mouth before he even realizes what he’s saying, “Uh-huh. _Daddy like what he see_.”


	10. Madame President If You’re Nasty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Fic prompt: Leslie is stressed out hearing any Trump & Pence related news and needs an amazing back rub or other stress relief. (Basically I am Leslie these days.)

Ben watched, as she paced from her dresser to the closet, mumbling under her breath as she went.

“ _Just who does he think he is calling Hillary nasty? Who’s the one who gropes and…ugh! Nonsense-talking, idiotic, woman-hating, narcissistic–”_

“Babe?”

She turned towards him. “Oh, hi, Ben.” Leslie looked surprised for a second. “Were you here the whole time?”

He felt his eyes widen and he held his hand out. “Yeah. Come here.”

Soon she was sitting next to him and he pulled her closer to lightly kiss the back of her neck since her hair was up in a sloppy ponytail. Ben smiled when she moaned a little at the contact.

“So, I have an idea.”

“Oh, do you want to write letters and–”

“No. Not that,” Ben kept his light grip on her hand as he told her,“ I propose that we hit pause on the election news for a few days.”

She turned to look at him. “What?”

“Well…look. The election is pretty much over and we’ve both made up our minds about who we’re voting for–”

“Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton!” Leslie interjected.

Ben smiled at her enthusiastic answer. “Yes. Definitely Hillary. So, I’m just saying that, in order to, um, maybe not get so wound up and stressed out about things, that we have a moratorium on the news. For a few days. As an experiment.”

He watched as Leslie frowned. “But how will we know what FiveThirtyEight is predicting or how Fox is spinning all the ridiculous things that–”

“Well, that’s the point. We won’t,” Ben said, tugging her closer. When his mouth was right by her ear, he whispered suggestively, “think of all the other things we could spend our time doing.”

“Like what?”

Good lord, she was more sucked into this shit-show of an election than he had thought.

“Setting up model trains all over the house,” Ben responded and to her credit, she only seemed confused for about half a beat.

“Oh. Okay. Yes. You mean we could make out more.” Now Leslie was smiling as she turned around to fully face him.

She looked tired and a little stressed out, but also, so beautiful. His passionate, amazing, sexy roommate. Who he loved so much.

“Yeah, babe. That of course, but also, I think we’d both be a bit more relaxed in general if we took a break from all of this.”

“Okay, I understand what you’re saying, but what if–”

Alright. Time to play dirty.

Before she could finish her sentence, Ben moved back a bit and put his palms on her shoulders. He squeezed gently and then dug his thumbs along her shoulder blades, smiling when she groaned.

“Just think, if we spend less time on election news, we could have more time for back rubs,” he teased, moving down along her spine, through the soft cotton of her sleep shirt.

“I see your point,” she exhaled slowly. “You give such amazing back rubs.”

“I know. I do,” he moved closer, the heels of his hands pressing against her. “I give all sorts of amazing rubs.”

Leslie started giggling and nodding. “You really do. Okay. One day off from the news.”

“Two days,” Ben countered. “Starting now. There are no more debates and it’s as good as over. Let’s just be chill and take a break from all of it.”

“Okay. We’ll be news-free and chill. Super chill.”

Ben nodded and smiled when she spun around and came in close for a kiss.

“I’m just gonna pee real quick and then, since we’ve got extra time before bed, maybe I could rub… _something_?”

“Ohhh, good plan,” Ben agreed. “I’m going to go check in on the kids, and I’ll meet you back here in the bedroom.”

“Perfect!”

When Ben got back, the bathroom door was still mostly closed, so he got in bed and waited.

And waited.

And then he noticed that Leslie’s phone was no longer on the bedside table.

“Of course,” he muttered as he got up, walked across the bedroom, and pushed open the bathroom door.

To her credit, she was sitting there with her pajama pants pulled down by her ankles. But, his wife was also very obviously reading something on the small screen in her hands.

“Hey there.”

She looked surprised when she saw him. “Oh, hi. I’m just looking through a recipe.”

“Uh-huh. Phone.” Ben held his hand out.

Leslie sighed and gave it to him. _Her Name Is Hillary Clinton. Madame President If You’re Nasty_ , Ben read from the posting headline on Wonkette.

“This sounds like a very interesting recipe,” Ben commented.

“Fine. Okay. You win. Election news black-out starts now. For real.”

“Let’s just try to make it twelve hours, okay? You’ll even be asleep for some of that.”

Leslie nodded. “Twelve hours. Piece of cake.

He watched as she got up and pulled her pajama pants up before Leslie frowned and pulled them down again. “Crap on a catapult. I forgot to actually pee.”


	11. Change in Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Prompt: Ben is really horny and wants to have sex but Leslie is on her period so they end up cuddling

He was really excited. Clarification: Ben was really _horny_.

He almost sped home from his late-running meeting that evening (so late that Leslie had headed home first to “get ready for him”), and now he was a little concerned about being pulled over on the way.

Even if he was the City Manager, one thing Ben did not need was to get stopped by one of Pawnee’s finest while sporting a semi.

But how could he help it?

Leslie had sent him a teasing text earlier that afternoon about finding her roller skates in the closet the night before. And then just a couple of hours ago, a message about greeting him at the door wearing just those.

Maybe they’d even play some _Bad Vice President_ later? He was always up for that scenario no matter which one of them was the naughty VP.

It was a miracle that he wasn’t full-on hard for his commute home, he thought as he turned down Elm Street.

Their eight-month-old triplets were staying with Marlene for the night and he and Leslie were planning on lots and lots of loud sex throughout the whole house. Like on counters- and rugs-type sex. Costumed sex. _Sex-sex-sex._

And then, they could even sleep through the whole night, and to be fair, Ben was almost excited about that as he was about the boning. He kind of felt bad for Marlene, but…roller skates.

Ben checked the rear view mirror and then accelerated just a bit.

* * * * *

“Babe?”

He was standing in their empty living room making a face.

Leslie did not greet him at the door naked in roller skates. There was no candlelight or a sexy soundtrack inside. She was not anywhere in the living room.

Ben made his way upstairs and finally found her in their bedroom. She was lying down on top of the covers, wearing her oversize Garfield t-shirt and some black sweatpants. His penis frowned.

“Honey?”

“The whole night is ruined!” She said, looking both mad and sad at the same time. “I never should have stopped breastfeeding last month, because now…now…“ Leslie sat up and pouted.

“What’s going on? I don’t–”

“Aghhh! I’M ALWAYS LEAKING!” she yelled and then got up and slammed the bathroom door.

* * * * *

There was a knock, soft and tentative a couple of minutes later and then Leslie opened the door a crack and peeked out at him.

“It’s usually not necessary to knock before you come out,” he told her, smiling softly.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I got my period an hour or so ago.”

Ben nodded as she walked all the way out of the bathroom. “I kind of figured. It’s not a big–”

“Like really got my period. All at once. I’m all achy and sad and crampy and bleeding and I love you so much, but I really, really do not want to have sex with you right now.”

Ben nodded again--it’d been so long since she had her period, that he had to go through his check-list: pet names, cuddles, offer cookies or other snacks. “Yeah, honey. I figured our plans had changed. It’s okay.”

Of course it was okay, he thought. Sure, he was a little disappointed, but it’s not like this was his last chance for sex with his wife. 

And if he needed to, he’d just jerk off in the bathroom later.

“But I promised–”

“Leslie. I know you know this, but it’s not your responsibility or anything to _service_ me. And you can always change your mind about sex. I could even change my mind, and it would be fine,” he laughed off the confused face she made at that last statement and walked closer.

“And in this instance, I’ll manage. It’s really not a big deal.”

Her upper lip started quivering when he got within an arm’s length.

“But the babies are away for the night now,” she paused to take a deep breath. “Oh my god, what kind of parent ships their kids off to their mom for the night so they can have loud sex?”

Ben raised an eyebrow at her. “Um, all of them? Babe, it’s–”

“And now they’re gone, and I just…I just want to cry and…eat popcorn.”

“Alright,” he said, holding his arms out. “Come here. Let’s cuddle for a few minutes and then I’ll make us some popcorn.”

* * * * * 

Later, she was turned towards him with a leg thrown over his hip. They were in bed watching DVRd episodes of _Meet the Press_ , an empty popcorn bowl and wine glasses on the bedside table.

“You know, snugbug,” Ben said, running his fingertips along her arm. “The night is still pretty great.”

She snorted and burrowed closer. “Because you really just wanted to snuggle in pajamas with your bloated, cranky, and emotional wife?”

“Well, I hadn’t considered that option because I was mainly thinking about you naked in roller skates, but we still get to sleep soon and Leslie, I can not tell you how much I am looking forward to _that_.”

 


	12. Explain why the remote and Cheetos are in the bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dialogue prompt!

Ben walked into the bedroom and looked at his wife. She was still in bed even though it was nearly 8:00 AM, which he kind of found ridiculously cute. But still, he was a little puzzled.

“Hey, babe? Explain why the remote and Cheetos are in the bathroom.”

“Oh. Because I thought it would be nice to take a bath last night, but Meet the Press was on,” Leslie answered, smiling at him like it all made perfect sense.

“Alright. But–”

“And…if you angle yourself just right, you can see the bedroom TV from the tub. Also, I wanted a snack.”

“Sure,” Ben agrees, nodding and trying not to laugh. He stops himself from pointing out that carrot sticks might be a better choice than Cheetos–especially since she’s five months pregnant.

Well, nope. He decides that he has to say something or it’s going to bug him all day.

“Hey. You know, carrot sticks are also orange. Maybe that would make a better–”

He stops talking when one of the bed pillows hits him in the face.


	13. It was an accident. I was cooking…I’m not going to the hospital.

**2027:**

“It was an accident. I was cooking…I’m not going to the hospital,” Wes said defiantly, holding his cut finger protectively and away from his sister.

“What were you cooking?” She asked, putting her backpack down on the table and moving closer. “We’re not supposed to cook when mom and dad aren’t home.”

“Nachos. For the microwave. So, it’s not really cooking.”

There were onions and bell peppers and even tomatoes out on the counter. Along with some of her brother’s blood on the cutting board.

Sonia grabbed a paper towel and handed it to Wesley.

“Dad’s just outside with Stephen. He’s totally going to take you to the hospital,” she said and then made a face. “Wait. If you were making nachos, why were you cutting vegetables?”

Wes rolled his eyes even as he winced in pain. “You need bell peppers and onions along with the cheese, weirdo.”

“Um, no you don’t weirdo. Just cheese and chips. And wow, you’re bleeding through the paper towel already,” Sonia said, frowning. “I think I should go get dad, that looks really bad.”

“No!” Wes yelled. “No. It’s fine. It is fine. Totally fine.”

“What’s fine?” Ben asked, walking into the kitchen. When he saw the mess and his son holding a blood-soaked paper towel around his hand, his eyes widened with concern.

“What happened? Wesley? Are you okay?”

Ben was over in a flash, examining Wesley’s finger and making a sympathetic face when he saw the deep gash.

“How did you…” Ben trailed off, looking around the kitchen, and then focusing his attention back to his 13-year-old.

“The knife slipped and..it’s fine. Really, dad.”

“This is not fine, Wesley. It’s really deep. I think we need to go to the hospital so you can get stitches.”

“Told you,” Sonia said, as Stephen finally walked into the kitchen.

“Whoa. Did you cut your finger off?” Stephen’s eyes widened.

“No!” Wesley said. “It’s not a big deal. I just need a band-aid.”

“Um, it’s a big deal,” Ben corrected, nodding and putting his arm around Wesley and steering him towards the door. He grabbed a kitchen towel and handed it to his son. “Hold this around your finger and come on. Maybe we can even get a police escort.”

“But I don’t want stitches.”

“Well, then you shouldn’t have cut vegetables,” Sonia responded. “And now it’s going to be in the news that one of the governor’s sons cut his finger off trying to dice vegetables. Mom won’t even be able to show her face around–”

“I didn’t cut it off! I just–”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Ben said, turning to Sonia and Stephen, “Speaking of your mom, she’s going to be home in about an hour. Can I trust you two to not cut anything off? Or do I need to ask the security detail to come in and watch over you while your brother and I go to the hospital?”

“No, were fine. Promise,” Sonia answered quickly, as both she and Stephen nodded.

Wesley started to look more and more freaked out over the gash on his index finger. Ben noticed and gave him a hug.

“Hey, you’re okay. It’s going to be fine. There’s just a lot of blood,” Ben said with a shudder.

“It hurts. And I don’t want stitches.”

“I know, son. I’m sorry. But I’ll stay with you the whole time, and I won’t even yell at you about using the kitchen knives without me or mom being home until the ride back.”

Sonia watched her brother and her dad leave before she turned to Stephen.

“Wanna make nachos? He grated the cheese already and it was pretty far away from the cutting board.”

“Definitely,” Stephen agreed, slapping her held up palm for a high-five. “Let’s just throw out these vegetables first.”


	14. Is it to late too say…celery?

“Is it too late to say…celery?”

“What?” Ben looked confused and then concerned at her use of their safeword. “Why? What’s wrong.”

He’d thought it was going really well. They’d met each other at the bar and then moved to a small table in the mostly deserted restaurant.

His name was Trevor Nightsteed and well, he was kind of a snarky asshole.

While in character (not that he wouldn’t normally), Ben kept staring at Leslie’s…um, Mirabella Wellington’s delectable cleavage while promising that he was going to absolutely _torture_ her later. And she had definitely seemed into it–-their _two strangers who meet at a bar for a kinky one-night stand_ evening.

It was roleplay scenario number 78, one they didn’t do too often and this time, Ben had decided to tweak his character a bit. A little darker…and his wife had seemed really into it.

She’d even slipped a shoe off and had been sliding her foot up his leg to tease against the crotch of his pants.

“Behind us,” Leslie said, as she quickly pulled her toes away. “The kids’ kindergarten teacher.”

Ben eyes went wide. “What? Here? Um, are you sure?”

Leslie nodded, looking a bit panicked herself. “Abort. Abort. Shut it down. She’s coming over.”

“Right now? Oh, good lord.” Ben squirmed in his seat a bit, trying to find a position that made the huge boner he’d been sporting ever since Mirabella had mentioned that she normally ‘never picked strange and dangerous-looking men up in bars, but that tonight she was feeling a bit daring. Naughty, even.’

“Ms. Knope, Congressman Wyatt, hello,” Ms. Brighton addressed them.

“Oh, hi there,” Leslie said in a rush, as Ben tried to act normal. “Have you been here before? Great place, right? I recommend the bacon-wrapped shrimp. Unless you’re a vegetarian. Then maybe the…vegetables? I mean, if you like that sort of–”

“Ms. Brighton,” Ben said with a nod towards the younger woman, trying to sound calm and also rescue Leslie from having to make forced conversation–not that he was any better at it.

He also knew he should probably stand up to greet her, but there was no way that was a possibility right now.

Thankfully, they got through a minute or two of pleasantries and then the woman awkwardly returned to her table.

“Oh, that was bad,” Leslie said, shaking her head. “One of us is going to have to volunteer to chaperone the farm trip next month now.”

“Ugh,” Ben complained. “I just can not think fast when my brainpower is directed to other areas. Did I actually ask her if she liked the _Transformers_ movies? Fuck. Do you think she noticed?”

Leslie made a face. “That you had a–”

“No. No, not _that_. That we were acting weird.”

“Hmmmm, not sure. Oh, wait…she’s leaving. Maybe they were done? I think it’s okay.”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m canceling code celery. Now, where were we?” she asked with a flirty grin.

Her foot starting wandering back up his leg and Ben decided they shouldn’t take any more chances. Time to get roleplay scenario number 78 back on track.

Besides, Trevor had absolutely no patience for any more interruptions this evening.

He gave Mirabella his best cocky grin and then nodded towards their waiter. “Check, please.”


	15. The best thing in the world is waking up beside you.

“The best thing in the world is waking up beside you.”

After his quiet, early morning confession, Leslie gave him a sleepy smile and snuggled closer. Ben still looked a little tired too, but much more relaxed than he’d been lately.

Much, _much_ more relaxed.

God, she’d missed this Ben–unguarded morning Ben waking up next to her in bed.

Really, she missed every single Ben while they’d been broken up–-super intense while playing Risk Ben; goofy sleep-deprived Ben; the sexy, focused Ben who would nip and lick sensually along her spine, making her moan and giggle at the intensity of it all.

“I think this is the best thing in the world too,” Leslie agreed. Her throat still felt a bit scratchy and thick from crying last night.

It was happy crying, of course, but it still took a toll.

He smiled and moved his head closer so that they were sharing the same pillow. His hair was sticking all up and he had light scruff along his jaw and she just wanted to nuzzle into it and feel it brush against her.

They were both naked and entwined together under her sheets–-because pajamas were for normal nights sleeping next to one another. Getting-back-together-sex demanded nothing but bare skin all night and into the morning.

“But we should probably lay low until we have a chance to talk to Chris,” Ben said, giving her another easy smile.

“Yeah. I'd say JJ’s for breakfast but you're right, we should make pancakes here instead. Wait,” Leslie paused. She definitely wanted to go downstairs and make breakfast together, but she also didn’t want to _steamroll_ him into anything. “That’s what you meant, right? You didn’t mean you should leave or–”

“Hey,” Ben whispered, grasping her hand under the covers. “No. I’m not going anywhere. Pancakes here sound great.”

The relief she felt was immediate, like being able to breathe again after not being able to at all. She’d gotten so used to Ben trying to get away from her these last awful months (and her trying to cling to him even harder), it took a little adjustment to realize that nope, he wasn’t going to leave.

She had missed every single version of Ben during the break-up, but right now Leslie decided that her favorite Ben of all is the one that wanted to say _screw it_ last night too and who showed her exactly how he felt by rushing forward for a kiss.


	16. why haven't they invented bowling on ice?

“Why haven’t they invented bowling on ice? That could be a thing.”

“Shhhhh, babe. This is where it gets really freaky again,” Ben said, snuggling closer to her on the couch.

“Sorry, I just…I just thought of that. The bowling thing. But no more talking,” she assured him, reaching for a handful of popcorn.

Well, she tried to reach for some popcorn. Leslie couldn’t quite get to the bowl, so Ben grabbed it for her and put it on the couch for easy access.

His wife’s popcorn needs taken care of, Ben gave his full attention to the TV once more. On the screen, MacReady was about to start testing the blood samples with the hot wire.

 _The Thing_ had always scared the crap out of him, ever since he had sneaked out of bed and watched it from the stairs as an eight-year-old. The babysitter had been none the wiser, but he’d had nightmares constantly for the next few months.

Sometimes it was his dad that was the thing and sometimes it was a faceless monster made up of dogs and then people, sometimes pretending to be neighbors and even friends. But always, he woke up feeling freezing, scared, and very unsettled–-liked he’d actually been in Antarctica running for his life from an alien, shape-shifting creature.

Now, even though he knew it was coming, Ben jumped as the blood on the TV screen rushed up out of the dish and tried to get away.

“What about soccer on ice?” Leslie asked suddenly, disrupting the movie’s dramatic moment.

He hit the pause button on the remote and turned towards her. “You mean like hockey?”

Leslie made a face. “Yeah. Sorry. That’s a thing that exists already. Never mind,” she told him and then gestured towards the TV. “We can–”

“No. It’s alright. Hey, are you okay tonight?” His hand went down to her stomach and his palm rested protectively against her very rounded belly. “How are the babies? Are they not enjoying the movie?”

She smiled. “No. No, it’s fine. We’re all enjoying it.”

Lately, her pregnancy hormones were in overdrive and everything had been making her cry except gross TV/movies and reruns of _Murphy Brown_. So, they’d been watching the 90s sitcom along with episodes of _The Walking Dead, American Horror Story,_ and the occasional horror film the last couple of months.

“I know the effects are a little cheesy now, but in 1982 this was super terrifying,” Ben insisted, pulling her back against him. “Stay close. I might need you to protect me.”

He felt as well as heard her laugh and he kissed her head.

“Deal. It is scary. I’m just thinking about next week.”

Her delivery date was tentatively scheduled at the end of next week and tonight, they were celebrating Halloween a couple days early with popcorn, a few mini-sized candy bars, and a movie or two on the couch.

Ben nodded. Leslie hardly ever seemed anxious about the pregnancy (or having three babies all at once), but when she did, he tried to be as supportive as possible. Even if that meant just rubbing her back and promising her it would be okay.

“I am too. It’ll be alright, though. I’ll be right there and Dr. Saperstein seems very competent…for someone who is half-responsible for Jean-Ralphio.”

She laughed again and cuddled closer. “Oh, I know. Of course, it’ll be alright. Women have c-sections all the time. It’s fine.”

“It’s going to be more than fine, But it’s also okay to be nervous,” Ben told her, his palm still resting against her stomach.

He felt the babies kick and he continued to rub gently, as their triple cherries continued to move beneath his fingers. He left the TV frozen mid-scene, content to simply cuddle her close.

He leaned in and whispered, “I think bowling on ice would be interesting.”

“Right? It would be very challenging,” she agreed.

“Yeah. Plus, you know, ice skates…” Ben added knowingly. “They’re almost as sexy as roller skates.”

He was rewarded with another laugh as she relaxed back against him even more.


End file.
